Hey! It’s Saturday! Really, it’s Saturday. I can hardly believe it because every day this week has seemed like Saturday. It’s because I’m unemployed.

I cannot wait to start working.

On the phone with Seth the day I quit my job, I confessed that although I probably needed this break in employment, the psychological aspects of unemployment were what I feared the most.

I’ve been sleeping til noon. Probably, this has something do with being on the first floor with windows that face a brick wall. Very little sunlight filters in. It’s usually late afternoon when the apartment will have a little light of it’s own. Formerly, I lived in a sun-soaked loft in Savannah, with one massive, north-facing window that, for the four years that I lived there, was uncloaked. The apartment was always illuminated. Whatever. Next year, I’m moving into a one bedroom apartment in Gramercy.

Mostly, I cannot wait to be back in a restaurant. A restaurant, where I lead a team of people and control the course of the floor and learn about food and wine while making people happy. It’s no argument: I’m applying for one of the coolest jobs in the world. What could be better?

When I graduated college, with my expensive degree in writing (all of which my parents paid for), my father wanted me out of the restaurant. He would rather support me unemployed then approve of my work at that house. About a year after graduating, I wound up in a serious relationship with a man who thought I was selling myself short. We were supposed to move here together, and he argued with me, tried to influence me to pursue jobs in publication, freelance writing, editing, etc. He told me I would fail as a writer if I didn’t work 100% in that field, etc. etc. He said a lot of nasty and unloving things. I do not respond well to negative reinforcement. Yeah, I could have gotten a job in publication, I could freelance. I could still do those things. Unemployment is an excuse for a career change but my career is in hospitality, my passion is hospitality, there’s opportunity here for me and I would be miserable doing anything but that. It’s so strange to me now, in hindsight, how he couldn’t be open and loving enough to just let me do what I want to do. My father got over it. My parents are pretty impressed that I’m capable of oh, say, running a multi-million dollar restaurant while simultaneously writing a novel.

It’s all a matter of perspective. Don’t ever let anyone look down on you for what you do, when you love what you do. I’m capable of a lot of things: I’ve written two novels, I was the central arts new source/ arts journalist in Savannah, which I established on my own; I could do a lot of things but the most important thing I’ve ever done is follow my heart.

CALL ME FOR MY TRIAL SHIFT! COME ON! LET’S GO! TODAY!

I’m still impressed with the confidence and ease I’ve maintained throughout my job search. I am thinking as if it is over. Maybe it is. But I haven’t done any paperwork, at either of these places. I’m nervous about a sudden scheduling over-lap, like I’ll be scheduled full time for the House (little restaurant in Gramercy) and also for THE restaurant I interviewed for yesterday. Well, I told THE place that I was brought on for a trial shift at the House, and that they hadn’t formerly made me an offer, etc., but that they (THE restaurant) were the ones I was most interested in. It’s a good problem to have though, I suppose. I’m supposed to return to the House on Sunday to continue my training. Although the place is too small for my preference, I really like the people there. I definitely felt like I would fit in with that staff.

Although I would prefer the security of a job offer vs. the request for a trial, I think that’s so smart. I jumped on the LYNC (because I needed an excuse to move to the city) but it wasn’t right for me. At least with a trial, I’ll know about them, and they’ll know about me, and we make this decision together. It’s a big decision! This could be the next several years of my life, hopefully! I am looking to make a commitment, not be transient from one place to the next.

And, let’s face it: I just really want to go shopping, dine again, go out. I want my life to continue.

Soon.